I find myself quite frequently asking questions about why people in a post-modern era are so lonely. If this is supposed to be the age of relationship, tolerance and cultural relativity, why is culture such a sensitive matter? Why is honest, committed relationship so rare? Why is tolerance so debated, misconstrued and barely functional?
It has been said over and over again by many men wiser than myself that one of the fundamental tenets of postmodernism is tolerance. This tolerance then should allow relationship to flourish without cultural, ideological differences threatening to disintegrate the ideal social relationship. The difficulty with this tenet is that the content and definition of tolerance has changed in the past 20 years. It has changed from tolerance of people, and has increasingly become centered on the ideas of people. At a first glance this has nothing to do with the moral, relational breakdown in society at large, but I believe it has everything to do with it.
Think about the most relational man who ever walked the face of the earth, Jesus. He was completely tolerant of the most ignorant, backstabbing thieves; one of whom dared to trade the life of not only the Son of God, but of a respected and followed religious leader, for a few pieces of silver. Jesus did not even refuse his kiss as he was betrayed. What an example of selfless tolerance and true love for humanity! But than why did Jesus storm through the temple with a whip driving out the hypocrites and thieves who were trading their integrity for a few pieces of silver? I believe it is because though all men are created equal, all ideas and “truths” are not. Think of how Jesus could eat dinner with the scum of the earth, a gesture that not even the kindest of religious leaders would have initiated, and also call them for repentance because they were destined for hell.
This does not fit with the postmodern ideal of tolerance. However, I believe this is a better tolerance, for it allows for true honest, committed relationship. The other kind of tolerance does not, however, for it is a tolerance based on ideas, not people. People must listen to another’s ideas because it is wrong to say they are wrong. Therefore, there are a few billion liars in the world who think the others’ ideas are crazy and cannot say so. Indeed, their ideas are crazy, for they have never been challenged with a measure of refining truth, for it is not polite to do so. So then if an identity rests in this shared, shallow shell of one’s ideas, to challenge one’s ideas is to challenge their identity. One the other hand, if one’s identity were to rest in their person, and ideas could be discussed and freely challenged as in Jesus’ model of tolerance, it would be an act of a honest, committed relationship to challenge the ideas of another.
I think that most people can sense this truth deep down inside, and it is a cause for loneliness that no one truly cares about what they think. This indeed is not surprising, for people cannot care about what they cannot adopt as their own, and they cannot adopt as their own those ideas with which they are not at liberty to disagree with more convincing proofs. They cannot disagree for it is inappropriate to challenge the ideas of another, no matter how obvious the fallacy. I think what is even more striking then these observations, is the fact that this false, degraded thinking has permeated the church more than we can know. I also believe we will be feeling the fall-out of this deceit sooner and more forcefully than could be imagined.